


people will say we’re in love

by MiraclesofPaul



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Watcher Entertainment RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Western, Bickering, Happy Ending, M/M, POV Alternating, early 1900s, idiots to lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:40:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24928573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiraclesofPaul/pseuds/MiraclesofPaul
Summary: The dance is tonight. Ryan has been staring at the horizon for weeks, waiting and waiting and waiting like an idiot, hoping and hoping that Shane would come ask him to be his date. Shane has some nerve showing up at the last minute like this.
Relationships: Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej
Comments: 46
Kudos: 207





	people will say we’re in love

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the _Oklahoma!_ song [“People Will Say We’re in Love.”](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s83RbgHn-9w)
> 
> As always, a big thank you to my beautiful girlfriend Tiia! None of this would exist without her. Another thank you to the Skeptic Believer Book Club for helping me figure out what to do about the summary!

**California. 1905.**

The morning sun shines bright overhead as Shane walks to Ms. Luisa Bergara’s farm. It’s only about a twenty minute walk from his own farm, the path so familiar that Shane is sure he could get there blindfolded. He nervously tugs on his brown vest with his free hand, the other too busy holding a novel.

The book is a flimsy excuse, but Shane couldn’t come up with anything better. Ms. Luisa has known him ever since he was a boy and his family left their home in Illinois and moved to California. She wouldn’t mind him dropping in unexpectedly, but she’s not the one Shane worries about.

Ms. Luisa is sitting on the porch as Shane approaches, knitting away. The smile on her face says that she knows exactly why he is here today.

“Good morning, neighbor,” he says as he walks up the steps of her porch.

“Good morning, Shane.” She takes in his outfit and says, “Well don’t you look extra handsome today.”

“Oh, that’s very kind,” Shane says, trying to sound nonchalant so as not to give away the fact that he tried on three different outfits before leaving the house. “I’m finally growing into my looks, I suppose.”

Ms. Luisa chuckles as she shakes her head. “I’m just glad you stopped growing vertically. One more inch and I would’ve been truly concerned. But then again, you are very handy when we need things from a high shelf.”

“I’m always happy to serve as a ladder substitute.” He hands her the book and adds, “Also as a personal librarian. I finished it last night and thought to myself, boy Ms. Luisa sure would love this to bits.”

“Isn’t that sweet,” she says, giving him another _you can’t fool me_ smile. “I can’t wait to read it.”

“Hope you enjoy. There’s a lot of good action in there.”

Silence settles around them, crushing Shane with anticipation. She watches with amusement as he crosses his arms and shifts his weight from one leg to the other. Just when he’s about to accept defeat and head back home, she says, “This visit of yours wouldn’t have anything to do with the dance tonight, would it?”

Shane does his best impression of innocent surprise. “There’s a dance tonight? I had no idea.”

Ms. Luisa nods, humoring him. “Oh, yes. A big dance. The whole town is gonna be there, and I have it on good authority that many people are hoping you’ll invite them as your date.”

“Which people?” he asks quickly — probably _too_ quickly, since she laughs.

“Gertie Cummings is one of them.”

“Oh really? I saw Gertie in town last week, but she didn’t mention it.” Not that Shane had given her much of a chance. He’d practically turned and ran after she came up to him to say hello. “Who, uh, who else? Just out of curiosity.”

“I swear, I’ve never seen anything more ridiculous than you two. It’s absolutely preposterous.”

“I have no idea what you could mean by that.”

“He’s in there, probably fussing over his hair,” Ms. Luisa says, nodding towards the door. “He ran inside the second he saw you coming.”

“Thank you,” Shane says, unable to stop a smile from taking over.

The sound of the front door opening makes Ryan jump, and he quickly puts down the comb he’d been using. It’s just his luck that his hair chose today of all days to be unruly! He gives the mirror one last dissatisfied look before holding his head high and stepping out of his bedroom and into the main room.

Shane Madej stands there, a smug smile on his face. Always so tall. Always so infuriating with the way he makes Ryan’s knees go weak.

Ryan ignores the way his heart is hammering away in his chest and says, “Shane. To what do we owe the displeasure?”

“You look nice,” Shane says, letting his eyes sweep over Ryan.

Ryan crosses his arms and glares, but his cheeks feel warm from the compliment and he fears Shane will be able to tell. “You look awful.”

Infuriatingly, Shane does not look awful. Quite the opposite, he almost looks like he’s wearing his Sunday best. There’s a blue bandanna tied loosely around his neck, which Ryan is trying very hard not to find endearing. It’s not fair that Shane gets to walk in here and make it hard for Ryan to remember why he’s angry.

The dance is tonight. Ryan has been staring at the horizon for weeks, waiting and waiting and waiting like an idiot, hoping and hoping that Shane would come ask him to be his date. Shane has some nerve showing up at the last minute like this.

“That’s a rather rude thing to say,” Shane says, though he only sounds amused. “And here I was, being polite and not mentioning that there’s some dirt on your forehead.”

“There is not,” Ryan says but still self-consciously brings a hand up to rub away anything that might be there. When Shane laughs, Ryan rolls his eyes and asks, “Did you just come here to torture me?”

“No, of course not. I came by to give Ms. Luisa a book. Some of us are thoughtful neighbors.”

Ryan scoffs. “And that’s all?”

“That’s all.” Shane shrugs.

Ryan clenches his jaw, refusing to show his disappointment. He’s not going to give Shane the pleasure of knowing how much it stings. He’ll never understand what is going on in Shane’s big, dumb head.

“While Ms. Luisa and I were chatting, though,” Shane says with an air of casualness that doesn’t ring true, “she mentioned that there’s a dance tonight. Have you heard about it?”

“You _did not_ hear about the dance just now.”

“Yes I did.”

“No you didn’t. This stupid dance is all people have been talking about for weeks.”

“Well I didn’t hear anything.”

“Yes, you did.”

“I didn’t.”

Ryan throws his arms up in frustration. “ _Fine_. Actually, you know what? That makes sense. You’re too self-centered to notice what’s going on around you.”

That finally knocks the self-satisfied look off Shane’s face. He frowns, insulted. “Self-centered? You think I’m self-centered?”

“Yes.”

“Well, I’m not. Didn’t you just hear me say how I kindly brought Ms. Luisa a book? I’m very thoughtful.”

“You might have others fooled into thinking that, but you can’t fool me.”

Shane rolls his eyes as if Ryan is being ridiculous. As if Ryan is being dramatic and crazy like usual. “Listen, if you keep being like this, I won’t take you to the dance.”

“Ha! As if I would ever go to the dance with you.”

Shane frowns at that. “You could do worse than me.”

“Oh, you think I have trouble finding a date?”

“Well do you have one?”

“That’s none of your business.”

“So you _don’t_ have one,” Shane says with such infuriating smugness that it makes Ryan want to throw a fit. “If you had a date, you would say who it is.”

“Curly Velasquez asked me to go with him,” Ryan retorts, feeling the sting of hurt pride. Curly asked him _weeks_ ago. He’d been so sweet about it, too. He came by with white daisies and a nervous smile and asked if Ryan would do him the honor of being his date. Ryan turned down a perfectly nice invitation because of Shane, and now the dance is tonight and everything is ruined.

“He might’ve asked,” Shane says confidently, “but you’re not going with him.”

Ryan bites the inside of his cheek, trying his best to not lose his calm. He can’t believe Shane thinks Ryan is just sitting around, waiting for him. The nerve! And what makes it even worse, what really drives the stake through the heart, is that he’s right. Ryan really hates it when Shane’s right.

Shane always does this, has done it ever since they were in grade school. He’d rile Ryan up just to laugh at how upset he got. He’d call him silly nicknames and annoy him on purpose. One summer, when Ryan was sixteen, Shane’s fathers were sick and Shane and his brother spent a fortnight with Ryan’s family. Shane spent almost every night coming up with ghost stories to scare him. This pitiful feud between them is longstanding, and Ryan is sick of always losing.

“I’ll pick you up tonight then,” Shane says with an air of finality.

“No.” Ryan crosses his arms. “I’m not going.”

“Everyone’s going to be there.”

“Well I won’t. You can’t just order me to go with you. I’m a person, not one of your cows.”

“You’d rather sit here by yourself than go with me?”

“Are you going to _ask?_ ”

“Why bother when it seems you have your mind made up. If you don’t want to go with me, that’s no skin off my nose.”

“I’d rather eat rats than go anywhere with you.”

“Then by all means, feast away.” Shane seems as angry as Ryan feels, though it doesn’t feel as satisfying as Ryan had hoped it would. Shane adds, “I guess I’ll take someone else,” before turning and beginning to storm off.

“You do that!” Ryan says as he follows Shane out the door, watching as Shane stomps down the porch stairs and begins to quickly walk towards the road. The sight gives Ryan a bitter, drowning feeling in his chest. In a last pathetic, desperate attempt, he yells, “Whichever poor fool you pick, try _asking_ them! Don’t just assume everyone’s waiting around for you!”

Shane doesn’t turn around, doesn’t react at all. Ryan clenches his fists, fighting the urge to run after him.

Aunt Luisa sighs. “I take it that it didn’t go well.”

Ryan grumbles, “Who wants to go to a stupid dance with him anyway.”

***

Shane spends the rest of the day replaying their argument over and over in his head, each time feeling worse. He thought he had been prepared for rejection, but the sick feeling in his heart mocks him for having ever thought that.

He just never knows what he’s going to get with Ryan. Sometimes their banter is playful and light, a bright smile on Ryan’s lips. Other times Ryan lashes out at him and says the meanest things, and Shane is no angel either. Things have gotten ugly and hurtful between them more than a few times. One particularly awful winter, both of them refused to speak to each other, and the whole time Shane had felt as if his heart was slowly bleeding to death.

He very seriously considers staying home, feeling like an idiot for having spent so much time polishing his boots the night before. Ultimately, though, he pins a flower to his vest and tells himself he’s going to at least try to have a nice time.

The music is loud and merry as he approaches the party. Lanterns are set outside, illuminating the path with a warm glow. Shane enters the dance hall, and in less than a minute, Gertie Cummings is standing in front of him.

Her dress is a cheerful yellow, her grin wide as she says, “Hi, Shane! I was starting to think you weren’t gonna come!”

“I finally made it,” he says, trying his best to give her a proper smile. It’s no secret that Gertie is stuck on him, and sometimes Shane thinks he should stop chasing someone who clearly dislikes him most of the time and instead settle down with her. She’s pretty and sweet, and things wouldn’t be so complicated.

“Wanna dance?” she asks, a hand outstretched towards him.

Shane nods, taking her hand, and lets her lead him to the dance floor.

One dance turns to two. The crowd is rowdy and the music is loud, and he and Gertie laugh as they try to keep up with the other dancers. Shane manages to forget his woes for a moment as he focuses on making his long limbs stay on beat. Gertie smiles brightly at him, like he’s everything she wants, and Shane wonders if maybe that could be enough.

He goes to grab them something to drink after the third dance, trying to talk himself into really truly trying to get over Ryan this time. His fathers are always telling him it’s time to settle down. He’s wasted more than enough years on this failed pursuit, and he’s not getting any younger. Maybe he could be happy with Gertie if he tried hard enough. Maybe it won’t even be that painful, despite the fact that his heart is rebelling at the idea.

“Hello, Shane.” Curly gives him a small wave as Shane looks to his left and sees him standing there.

“Hey there, Curly,” Shane says back, taking in his rather impressive outfit. “You look very nice.”

“Thank you.” Curly gives him a small smile, but it’s not as warm as it usually is. His eyes look over Shen’s shoulder as he asks, “You brought Gertie to the dance?”

“Uh, not exactly.”

Curly doesn’t ask him to elaborate, just says with clear disappointment, “I asked Ryan. He said no.”

Shane gives him a sympathetic look. Curly came to town only two years ago, and it’s been no secret that he has an interest in Ryan. Oddly enough, it hasn’t stopped Shane and Curly from being friendly towards each other, commiserating more often than not, and Shane genuinely likes him as a person. Had Ryan actually accepted that date, though, Shane is sure that his feelings towards him would be a lot less friendly.

Shane says, “He turned me down too.”

Curly's gives him a look of disbelief. "Did he? Well he must be regretting that now. He left in a huff as soon as he saw you dancing with Gertie."

Shane's heart stops. "Ryan's here?"

"Probably outside sulking. Ms. Luisa is still dancing, and they came together — though he could've walked home, I suppose. I wouldn't put it past him."

Shane looks towards the doors, torn. His newfound resolve is quickly disintegrating. Ryan came. Ryan didn't like seeing him with Gertie. Hope balloons in his chest even as he tells himself not to be so foolish.

This is what Shane will never understand. Why didn't Ryan just come to the dance with him? If he likes Shane, why does he so often act like he doesn't? Why is everything so needlessly complicated between them?

As if reading his mind, Curly asks, "What are you two playing at? If you both want to be together, what's stopping you?" He looks genuinely confused, and Shane wishes he had answers.

"Could you hand this to Gertie for me, please?" He hands Curly the drink he'd poured. "Tell her I'm sorry."

Curly takes the cup with a sigh. "Make him happy!" he calls after him as Shane heads outside, and it sounds only moderately like a threat.

The night air hits him like a cool wave as he steps out of the stuffy dance hall. He scans the groups of friends chatting and the couples taking strolls, his heart anxious to spot the familiar face. Just when he starts thinking he'll have to ride down to Ms. Luisa's, he sees Ryan sitting by himself on a bench several yards away, just where the lanterns end.

Ryan's arms are crossed as he stares off into the darkness with a sour expression, and Shane can't explain the way his heart bursts and his breath hitches at the sight of him. His feet carry him to Ryan without giving him any choice in the matter.

Ryan turns at the sound of approaching footsteps and scowls. "What're you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing," Shane says as he takes a seat next to him on the bench. "I thought you weren't coming."

"I wasn't going to, but then Aunt Luisa guilted me into it." Ryan looks off into the distance again, and for a moment Shane thinks this will be one of those times where Ryan gives him the cold shoulder and refuses to talk to him. But then Ryan quickly turns back to glare accusingly at him and asks, "How's Gertie? She must’ve been so thrilled when you asked her to be your date."

"She's fine," Shane says in an airy tone that Ryan can't decipher.

"You two make quite the couple." Ryan doesn’t mean for it to sound so petty, and to his annoyance, all it does is make Shane laugh. He hates when Shane laughs at him and he’s not in on the joke. “What’s so funny?” he snaps.

Shane shakes his head, still chuckling as he says, “We were just dancing. She’s not my date.”

Well. That makes Ryan feel at least a little better. It had felt as though a rock was sinking in his stomach seeing the two of them dancing and smiling at each other. He knows it isn’t fair to resent Shane dancing with other people after refusing to go with him, but did it have to be Gertie Cummings?

Shane says, “Are you gonna sit out here all night pouting? People will think you’re jealous.”

Ryan scoffs. “Yes, well apparently nobody has anything better to do than to gossip about us all day. From the second I arrived, everyone kept asking me where you were — like I’m your keeper or something! And it’s all your fault, too.”

“ _My_ fault? How is it my fault?”

“Ever since I moved in with Aunt Luisa, you seem to find any little excuse to hang around. It gives people the wrong idea.”

“Ms. Luisa has been my neighbor for five years now, and we’ve always been friendly. Some say you moved in with her just to be closer to me, actually.”

Ryan makes an indignant, complaining noise, which just seems to amuse Shane. “Oh people say that, do they?”

Shane nods. “They do. That’s what people have been saying.”

“Well maybe they wouldn’t say that if you would stop staring at me all the time.”

“Why don’t _you_ stop staring at _me_ all the time?”

“And another thing,” Ryan says quickly, refusing to admit he’s just as guilty as Shane when it comes to staring, “you’re always chatting up my folks whenever you see them. It makes it look like you’re trying to get them to like you.”

“It’s not my fault your parents like me. I’m very charming. Everyone says so. But I’ll tell you what, just to give you your way, I’ll stop. If I see them walking towards me, I’ll turn around and walk the other way.”

“Thank you.”

“On one condition, though. You have to stop laughing at my jokes so much.”

“Who laughs at your jokes? You’re not funny.”

“You laugh at them. Quite loudly, too. That’s why people talk.”

“No, people talk because you take my things and keep them in some sort of strange Ryan collection.”

“I do no such thing.”

“Oh no? ‘Cause my glove is still missing, and Steven says he saw you take it.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Shane says, making such an exaggeratedly dismissive face that Ryan can’t help but laugh. “Why would I want just one glove? If I was going to be a glove thief, I would take the pair to keep my hands warm all winter.”

“I don’t know why you did it — I have no insight into your deranged mind — but we know Steven doesn’t lie. If people are talking, it’s completely your fault.”

“You think I haven’t noticed that you always bake my favorite pie when Ms. Luisa invites me over for dinner?”

“It’s the only pie I know how to make,” Ryan lies quickly.

“No it isn’t,” Shane says just as quickly. “You made three different pies for the bake sale last year.”

“Do you keep a diary of everything I do? That’s very disturbing.”

Shane laughs and stands up. “Fine. If people are going to talk, then let’s give them something to talk about.” He offers a hand and says, “Come on. Dance with me.”

Excitement flutters in Ryan’s stomach even as he fakes a glare. “Are you asking or commanding me?”

Shane rolls his eyes but says, “Will you please, Ryan Bergara, dance with me?”

“Only one dance.” Ryan takes his hand, unable to fully contain his smile. “You have two left feet.”

***

Luisa winces as she half-walks, half-hobbles into the kitchen, her feet still sore from all the dancing last night. They’d come back home very late, and she’s surprised to find Ryan up and dressed already. He’s standing in front of the stove, making porridge.

“Good morning!” Ryan says brightly. “Breakfast?”

“That’d be lovely, thank you.” She takes a seat at the table and watches Ryan as he hums to himself while stirring the pot. She’d very much missed this normal version of him. Good lord, he had been nearly insufferable these last couple of weeks! Irritable one second and forlorn the next, pitifully standing near windows. Luisa had very nearly marched over to Shane’s farm to give him a piece of her mind.

“Had a good time last night?” she asks as Ryan sets a bowl in front of her and takes a seat.

“It was very fun. I’m so glad you talked me into going. It was nice to get to see everyone.”

“Oh yes, I’m sure it was nice to see _everyone_.”

“I know what you’re about to say, and I would really rather you didn’t.”

She laughs, watching as Ryan tries to stop looking so pleased and fails. It’s the same look he always gets from winning Shane’s attention. It’s been the one constant from boyhood to adolescence to now. Ryan would always get so defensive whenever he was teased about his incredibly obvious crush, but when he thought no one was watching, he’d smile to himself, cheeks red and eyes full of stars.

They eat in comfortable silence. Luisa makes a list in her head of things that need to get done. The book Shane brought over seems promising, and if she gets enough things done, maybe she’ll spend some time in the evening reading.

“Why does everyone spend so much time gossiping about us?” Ryan asks suddenly. At her confused look, he adds, “Shane and me. Everyone’s always acting like — like we’re —”

“Like you two are stupidly in love with each other?”

“Yes! I mean, we’re _not_ , but that’s what everyone seems to think.”

“Oh please, honey. I don’t know who you’re trying to fool here. People think you two are in love for the same reason they think the sky is blue. It’s obvious.”

Ryan shakes his head stubbornly. “But we’re not.”

“Well you go tell that to Gertie. Poor girl sat in the corner all night with the saddest eyes and watched you two dance the whole time.”

“It was just dancing. They played a lot of good songs and everyone else already had a partner, so it was slim pickings. I wouldn’t have danced with him the whole time if I’d had another choice.”

“Mmhmm.”

“I’m serious! Shane and I, we — we’re friends. That’s it.”

“Oh, you’re friends? I can never keep up with what you two are calling each other. Last week I thought you said he was inhuman and you never wanted to hear his name spoken ever again.”

“I was just exaggerating a bit. I didn’t really mean it.”

Luisa shakes her head. She remembers being young and foolish, and an old ember of youthful regret sparks in her heart. It’s what prompts her to say, “You two should really sort things out. You can’t keep going like this forever.”

“There’s nothing to sort out.”

“When you two started your weird little friendship, we all thought surely the pigtail pulling would come to an end eventually. Yet here you two are, all grown up and still squabbling like children.”

Ryan has the good sense to look sheepish. “You make it sound silly.”

“Because it is silly. And let me tell you this, even though I know you won’t like it: if you don’t tell Shane soon how you really feel, one day a Gertie Cummings is going to convince him to look their way and you’re going to be scolding yourself for being so prideful and foolish. Trust me on that.”

Ryan is quiet for a long moment, mulling the words over, a small frown on his face. He remembers how it had felt yesterday to watch Shane dance with Gertie. He tries to imagine what he would do if word came that Shane was engaged to be married to someone else. Ryan doesn’t think he could stand it.

And yet, something in him still resists. Ryan sighs and asks, “How come I have to be the one to swallow my pride?”

Aunt Luisa shrugs. “Life is incredibly unfair. You can either be right or you can be married to Shane by next year.”

“I can’t have both?”

She laughs. “No. Whoever heard of such a thing?” She stands up and ruffles his hair. “Make up your mind before it’s too late. I’ll be outside in the garden if you need me.”

Ryan’s never been particularly good at making up his mind. He knows his anxieties often make him vacillate from one thing to another. He knows he’s easily persuaded by a good argument, and more often than he cares to admit, he’s swayed by feelings alone. He tries to untangle all of the complicated feelings he has for Shane as he washes the dishes and goes about his chores.

It’s true that they are childish. They never outgrew the teasing, and Ryan certainly didn’t outgrow the need to get Shane’s attention by any means necessary. Ryan has stared at the shining stars above plenty of nights and wished with all his might for Shane to fall madly in love with him. So too has Ryan wiped away tears and wished to forget all about Shane Madej.

One memory in particular sticks out, playing over and over in Ryan’s head as if it holds the answers if only he could decipher it. He and Shane were sitting on the porch of Ryan’s house that summer that Shane and his brother stayed with them. Shane’s fathers were feeling much better, and Ryan remembers feeling sad at the thought that Shane would soon go back home. They’d spent so much time arguing, but Ryan didn’t want him to leave.

The sunset painted the sky beautiful colors, but Ryan wasn’t paying attention to that. He was too focused on the feeling of Shane sitting next to him, his skin practically buzzing from how close they were sitting. Ryan turned to look at Shane and found Shane looking back. Their eyes locked. Time froze. Ryan remembers vividly how his heart had beat wildly in his chest. Shane glanced down at Ryan’s lips, and it made Ryan brave enough to lean in.

But instead of the feeling of Shane’s lips on his, he felt nothing but air as Shane quickly pulled back. Ryan’s face had burned with embarrassment as Shane stood up and said he was going to go to sleep. Ryan had sat on that porch for what felt like hours, feeling completely humiliated. The rejection had left a scar that Ryan can still feel all of these years later.

Ever since then, Ryan has always second guessed himself. He has always feared that Shane doesn’t really feel the same way he does. These complicated, messy feelings are all consuming for Ryan. They burn and they ache and they refuse to be ignored. Shane is different. Shane hides things, and Ryan can never tell what he’s really feeling under that controlled demeanor.

All this time, it has felt so important for Shane to say it first. Ryan lives in fear of not being wanted enough and needs Shane to be sure. He doesn’t want Shane to pity him or — even worse — to settle for him. He wants Shane to choose him. He wants Shane to _say it,_ to _show him_. He wants Shane to want him just as much as he wants Shane.

But if it never happens, if he never does it…

Ryan’s not sure he’s prepared for the alternative either.

***

Thunder rumbles outside as Shane sits in his living room by the fire. He'd managed to get all of his animals secured before the storm rolled in. He even managed to coax the orange cat to come inside. The cat is stretched out in front of the fire, sleeping happily. Usually it prefers to stay outside, but occasionally it’ll venture in. Shane has never much minded being alone, but he can admit he has enjoyed having the cat’s company ever since it decided to make Shane's farm its home.

The house has way too much space for just one person. It hadn’t seemed that big when he first moved in five years ago, but then again, his brother had lived with him for a while. But his brother got married a couple of years ago and moved out, and now it’s just Shane and this orange cat.

He hadn't exactly planned to be a bachelor for quite this long. When he first bought the place, he’d pictured his future very differently than what it currently is. He’d pictured a warm body next to him in the mornings, someone to share the hard work, smiles and laughter during a shared meal. He’d pictured Ryan.

His mind drifts back to three nights ago. He can’t help but smile as he remembers the way Ryan held his hand for most of the night, even when they weren’t dancing. They’d laughed and joked around. They’d stomped and cheered and sang, and Shane can’t understand how one day could start so terribly and end so wonderfully.

His yearning heart aches as it gives into that private feeling he usually tries to keep locked up. He has been in love with Ryan for so much of his life that he can’t remember what it was like to not be consumed by it. It used to drive him crazy that one word from Ryan could determine his mood for the rest of the week. He hated feeling possessed by his love for him. He used to fight it, thinking that if he tried hard enough he could break its spell. But there is no remedy, no end, no alternative. What he feels for Ryan will not bend.

He knows that one day he will have to be brave and tell Ryan that enough is enough. That he can’t play games anymore. That for his sanity’s sake, they either need to get married or put a complete stop to whatever it is they’re doing. But his heart trembles with fear even at the thought of doing something so bold, of taking such a big gamble and ending up the loser. Doubt plagues and stops him. Too often it feels as though Ryan likes him one day and hates him the next. Sometimes Shane’s jokes are met with laughter and yet, almost as often, Ryan will turn angrily to him and demand, “What did you mean by that?”

Yes, one day he’ll be brave enough, but that day hasn’t come yet.

He’s startled by the sudden knock at the door. For a second he holds still, eyes wide open, wondering if it had been a dream. Then there is more knocking, this time louder, more insistent, and a familiar voice yells, “Shane Madej, let me in! I am wet to the bone!”

A grin takes over Shane’s face as he leaps to his feet and heads for the door. The sight on the other side is one to behold. Ryan’s hair is plastered to his forehead, his clothes indeed drenched.

Ryan’s half frowning, half pouting, and says irritably, “Quit staring and let me in!”

Shane chuckles even as he steps aside. “I thought you had more sense than to take a stroll in a storm. This one has been brewing all day. Why the devil would you go out?”

“I thought I was going to make it before it started raining,” Ryan replies with a whine in his voice. When Shane laughs, he adds, “Oh stop laughing and get me a towel!”

“You just look very funny with your face scrunched up like that,” Shane says before going to fetch a towel and a change of clothes for him.

Ryan goes into Shane’s bedroom to change, leaving Shane once again sitting in his chair by the fire. He tries not to think anything too inappropriate, but that proves to be quite the challenge. Shane stares at the dancing flames and hopes he can blame them for the fact that his face feels warm.

The bedroom door opens, and Ryan steps out with his head held high, even as he glares threateningly at Shane, daring him to laugh. Shane tries to cover his smile with his hand, but his delight is too obvious. Ryan had to roll the pant legs several times. His hair is oddly fluffy, and Shane’s heart is completely melted just from the sight alone.

“They fit well,” Shane says as soon as he can trust himself to speak without laughing.

“Ha ha, oh yes, so funny,” Ryan says dryly, rolling his eyes. “What comedic gold we’ve mined here today.” He walks over and sits on the floor by the fire, a few feet away from Shane. The orange cat eyes him warily for a moment before deciding that Ryan poses no threat and closing its eyes again, too comfortable to move.

“So,” Shane says a bit hesitantly, afraid to steer this conversation into a proper fight. “Where were you headed?”

Ryan stares at the cat as he answers, “I was on my way here.”

“Here?” Shane frowns in confusion, caught completely off guard. “Why? You never come here.”

“Well you never invite me.”

“I go see you uninvited all the time.”

Ryan turns to him with accusing eyes. “Yes, well you never say you’re there to see me. Half the time I think you’re actually secretly in love with my aunt with the way you’re always bringing her things.” Still, Ryan’s lips quirk into a smirk and his voice carries an air of playfulness as he adds, “Plus I don’t go to people’s houses uninvited. I’ve got manners.”

“I never thought you’d want to come,” Shane says honestly before he can stop himself.

“If you invited me, of course I would’ve wanted to.”

“Really?”

“Well.” Ryan gives a half-shouldered shrug. “Maybe I would’ve pretended I didn’t want to at first, but I would’ve come.”

Shane doesn’t know what to say. They continue to stare at each other, the rain pattering outside. There’s something in Ryan’s eyes, a new, unguarded softness that Shane feels like he’s never seen before. Shane wants to apologize for not inviting him over. He wants to tell Ryan how happy he is that he’s here. The words, however, die in his throat as his heart swells with endless love for the man in front of him. Here Ryan is, sitting in his living room, wearing his clothes, beautifully illuminated by the light of the fire. No words could fully convey the way he feels right now.

The silence is broken as Ryan says, “It was foolish to come when I knew it was going to rain, but I couldn’t wait. I came here because I — I’ve been thinking, and I realized that…” Ryan hesitates, seems to battle with himself before asking quickly, “Do you remember when your fathers were sick and you stayed at my house while they recovered? And one night we were sitting alone out on the porch?”

The memory hits, and his heart gives a painful jolt. “Yes,” he says as his stomach fills with embarrassment. He’d spent weeks afterwards wanting to smack his head against the wall, regretting the way he’d panicked and fled.

“Why didn’t you kiss me?”

The question is so direct, more direct than they’ve ever dared to be, and Shane feels frozen. He’d been asking himself the same thing for years. Cowardice is probably one answer he could give. It had been overwhelming to feel so close to getting everything he’d ever wanted. He had been afraid to ruin it. It’s all too much to put into words, and so Shane shakes his head and says, “I don’t know.”

Ryan doesn’t seem satisfied by that answer. If anything, he looks properly annoyed now. “Well did you want to?”

“Did you want me to?”

“Oh knock it off. Just tell me. Admit you have feelings for me.”

Shane’s heart is pounding in his chest. He can’t quite believe that this is happening right now. He doesn’t know what answer Ryan wants. “What’s this about, Ryan? What are you getting at?”

“If you have feelings for me, I want you to say it. Only if you mean it, that is. Don’t say anything you don’t feel.” Ryan takes a deep breath, as if bracing himself, and adds, “Say it so that I can say it too.”

Shane blinks, mouth dropping open slightly. This doesn’t seem like a trick or a foolhardy whim. If this is a dream, it’s unlike any Shane has ever had. It feels too real, even as he gets off the chair and goes to kneel beside Ryan. His pulse is racing as he says, “Alright. I’ll tell you how I feel.”

Ryan’s eyes are staring deeply into his. Ryan’s holding himself so still that Shane is willing to bet he’s holding his breath. Shane can’t believe what he’s about to admit, can’t believe that Ryan wants to hear it.

Shane says, “I’m hopelessly in love with you. I have been for most of my life.”

Ryan grins, looking relieved and like he can’t quite believe this worked. “You idiot,” he says happily. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“Well sometimes you’re very mean to me, like you’re being right. You know I’m a coward at my core.”

Ryan laughs. “I do know that. And I guess I’m one too.”

“You feel the same, then?”

“Of course I do. This whole town knows I do. I love you.”

Shane doesn’t hesitate this time. He kisses Ryan, feeling his heart sing as Ryan’s arms wrap around him and pull him closer. They lose their balance, collapsing on the floor. The kiss breaks as they both laugh, arms still around each other. Shane is half on top of Ryan, a rather inappropriate position, but he doesn’t care.

“Marry me,” Shane says.

“Are you asking?”

“Ryan Bergara, will you _please_ marry me?”

Ryan laughs. “Yes. Yes, I’ll marry you. No one else would be able to put up with you.”

Shane laughs. It’s probably true enough. He gives Ryan another kiss because now he can.

**The End**

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on tumblr at [miraclesofpaul.tumblr.com](https://miraclesofpaul.tumblr.com/)


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